_____________________friendlies with sji
Friday, March 31, 2006 ; 11:15 PM

Why do you see, why do you see
Why do you see right through me..

school as usual. had two hours of break today. haha. me christine fernie charmaine sara and tasha were having a great time in the canteen laughing and bitching (not really bitching, just exchanging opinions haha), and telling each other who looks like what animal. how lame but nevermind.

rushed down to tampines sports hall after school with a few teammates, and had friendly match with sji boys. i could say, sji boys thrashed cjc girls. petrina and i played 2 doubles matches against 2 different sji pairs. almost won one with 11-15 okay. the rest of the points are too lousy to mention. haha. yeah, you get the picture. cjc badm boys rock la. they play damn well! i love seeing their matches. haha. goodness. after matches the whole team tgt with mr liu and the coach went for dinner at tampines mall. it was supposed to be at pasta mania but went to a-jisen-ramen (spell?) cus pasta mania were packed with people. i'd have prefered marina south! yeah anyway that's about it.

just got home awhile ago from the dinner.. i'm tired. novena church tmr with jaslyn i think. been ages since i went there..

roar. post mentrual syndrome i suppose. :( yes... blame it on hormones. haha.. i hate this emptiness inside of me. :( why is it so hard to speak up to that someone..? it just seems almost impossible. sigh. if anyone realises, the bold phrases in all my entries aren't just song lyrics i pick out from random songs, but they relate closely to my feelings. i hate this feeling. i hate it when i feel i ain't able to say or do what i want. i just don't know how to.

someday we'll know if love can move a mountain
someday we'll know why the sky is blue
someday we'll know why i wasn't meant for you..


when things don't turn out the way i want them to, i shouldn't be discouraged. i believe God has bigger plans in store for me (:
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________all of my life, where have you been? i wonder if i'd ever see you again.
Thursday, March 30, 2006 ; 12:51 PM

And it may take some time to patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I run away and hide
And I may find in time that you were always right
You were always right.

i'm bored at home now. didn't go to school today. hmmm. yesterday's training was rather good cos the seniors said they could see the girls really training for the first time. physical training together with the boys. had some sort of shuttle run but a much tougher one. though we did lesser sets it was still tiring like, whoa laa. worse of all, everyone was like damn fast i was like the last or second last. hahaha gosh. so stressful. training ended at almost 7.30pm. come to think of it, training lasted 5 hours! surprisingly today i'm not having any cramps from yesterday! hoho jason liu said the girls team is staying if we continue to train this wayy.. come to think of it i don't know how it'd be like next year when the 5 J2s leave.. with only 3 J1s; petrina haowen and me..

anyway.. i heard i got in for the vball trials. now badminton or volleyball..?? i don't know.. :( i like both! i'm not one of the better players in badminton, yet i like the people there; i don't know where i stand in vball and i haven't got to know anyone there yet, yet i don't mind trying something new. maybe i'll stay in both.. but then i doubt i'll be able to cope! plus studies! rah. friday whole badminton team dinner outing @ marina south after boys training and team physical training organised by the coach! cool huh.

boredd.. haven't met up with the clique for some time.. nic was so sweet she msged between her lessons yesterday telling me how she missed me! :( i miss sjc. the looney retardo times. i'll never get that kind of thing in lessons now..

okok i have a pile of homework to do now.. Maths and Gp essay! yucks.. econs test on monday. haha econs is quite cool but i've no idea how to write an econs essay. prepared to flunk it. till then.

you always find a way
to keep me right here waiting.

replies.
fernie: hello haha! yeah i got a missed call from christine i don't know why i couldn't feel the vibration in my phone.. you guys could've ran after us or something! :P see you tomorrow!
freddie: haha okok ask me out too! could go out tgt with lowyon and all. heh.
cheryl: yeah! it's like another chij.. bombarded with ij girls and sji.. yeah but it's less strict compared to sjc haha.
christine: hey! no problem mann! know what? i can't access your haloscan in my comp though i tried many times. haa. the thing won't pop-up. hmph.
natt: hmmmmm. the second assumption is correct but first isn't. hahha kidding! lovee!
charmaine: hello! through lester right.. haha yeah i hope so. but so far our class is alright. great that we're in same class. see you in school!
beverley: hey! another competition? go win something back for cjc yeah! cj dance is awesome (: badminton's not closing down yeetttt. :P
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________P.E. torture.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 ; 7:47 PM

day was pretty much the same as other days. started off a bad morning waking up earlier than usual for my morning runs (cus i usually arrive late). had to rush my mom to fetch me to the bus stop outside my house and kind of pissed her off. haha ok la what's new it's like almost everyday the same thing happens. then the freaking bus 153 refused to come for almost half an hour! like, i could've had more sleep if i had known the time it usually arrives. :( shall try to take bus 156 soon and compare the travelling time.. reached school at 7, thankfully just 10 mins late. (: ran a couple of rounds with the team and then the j2s went to talk to jason liu. anyways i heard the girls team isn't gonna be taken out just as yet..

after run we headed for assembly and brother paul caught me from the back! "folded sleeves, short skirt. what is this? what's your name and class? see me after assembly." ): but things were alright la just have to find him tomorrow to unpolish my nails. i'm surprised he could see them polished cus it was just those transparent ones that make the nails shine. eck. but thankfully he didn't pick on my hair. don't know why but it's getting even browner. was caught for that at the last spot check. but somehow no one called us back to check on our hairs haha so who cares.

P.E. nightmare on the third period. like i wasn't hyped up enough in the morning. ran 6 rounds under 13 mins and did other crap like push ups and crunches. i swear we were like in some boot camp! jason liu made us reply corny answers to him, like when he went "how many more?" we had to go "many many more!", when he went "how are you feeling?" we had to go "beautiful!" goodness. if we were pinnochio there wouldn't be room for our nose to grow any longer. i hate men push ups! especially doing it on the hard and hot concrete ground. grrrrr.

had a bath after that. thank goodness! felt so much better and refreshed. (: then toi and i skipped math lecture cus we were still eating when lecture started. yeah damn bad but okay just this once! after school 1T34 went down to far east again. lunch at burger king then met up with lowyon, christine and their friends. haha christine and her guyfriend joel damn funny la. cute couple. went down to monstercue at meridien for pool. didn't play, just watched them play. the guys in my class were there too. owell. then went back after that. anywayy.. i like the girls in my class (:

what makes you different
makes you beautiful to me
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________the badminton girls team
Monday, March 27, 2006 ; 8:49 PM

happy birthday becky whacky! okay she won't read this though. owell. we got her an ipod. i didn't get to celebrate with them! cus of training..! :( booooooo. WE ALL MUST GO OUT SOON! :(

owell anyway the cj badminton girls team's kind of facing a crisis. shan't go in depth but yeah, it was an emotional time for some of em for the past 2 badminton sessions.. even one particular teacher chose to resign from being the teacher-in-charge for the cca cos of some stuffs. and he was probably the only one who had faith and believed in the girls team. now that only jason liew is left, he kind of despises the girls team. and just told us that there won't be a cj girls school team anymore, cos he thinks the j2s hasn't shown commitment and aren't good enough a standard to compete with other jcs j2 standard.. owell. i've so much to complain about but i don't think i'll blog bout it here.

anyway yeah. first 1T34 outing, out for a quick lunch at far east before i met haowen and headed back to school together with rose and charmaine. auditorium was in use in the afternoon so training was at the gym instead. had to use weights to train our arms, which were damn heavy.. yuck i don't want bulky big arms!

anyway i made a friend in the toilet. hahha. we were both drying our wet hair and she was asking me if the use-handdryer-to-dry-wet-hair method works. funny. okay not really a friend. but we had a conversation and she say bye to me. though i don't know her name nor remember her face. teehee weird. and i made another friend in badminton called petrina, another j1 badminton player! nice person. yep. there's only 3 girl j1s in badm. owell. closing down or not, we still don't know.

Cause everything inside me looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take
When I'm on fire, when you're near me
I'm on fire when you speak
And I'm on fire burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

replies.
nic ninny sheila: hello i love you all. we'll always stay a clique <3333 i miss you guys anyhow.
beverley: HELLO AND CHEER UP DON'T BE SO SAD :( stop asking me to join dance cos you'll hear the same reply. hehe see you in school :)))))
noven: yo sleepy hamster.

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real well I don't want to know.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________reminiscing on the old times
Saturday, March 25, 2006 ; 11:41 AM

if only we could relive our secondary school days.

i miss going out with bestfriend and shopping and looking out for eyecandies, and really laughing over the stupidest things. i remember in sec 1 or sec 2 when she mistook a crippled man on crutches behind some bushes to be someone skating and started slapping herself and laughing her high-pitched laughter. and last year's new year countdown where we went with my parents to see the fireworks at esplanade, going all hysterical when we saw the fireworks on display, then held bestfriend stayovers and just reflected on our lives so far. and those phone talks where we confided in each other about our love lives etc.

i miss the times the clique held outings esp to celebrate birthdays at sentosa, and i'll never forget the time we booked a hotel room after grad night last year and how sheila and beryl were feeling alittle high cos of i-don't-know-what and started playing with the helium-filled balloons hanging over the bed on the ceilings and sheila kept giggling and going "look! look! bouncing nipples!". it was so lame me and ninny couldn't help but laugh seeing them. and other times in school when we just hid in the toilets and even in cubicles to skip assembly and somehow always go scot-free. and other times nic toi and i irritated the class teachers esp mrs thiru and mr tan and fat lard susie lee and when we always enter class the latest but leave the earliest, and all the visits to the toilet. the times nic mag and i danced around like lunatics in the toilet while toi looked at us in complete disgust (haha). the times nic and i took bus 80 from sengkang all the way to harbourfront cus we were too lazy to go home (wadahell) haha. the times toi and i went late for holiday lessons and end up hesitating whether to even go to class anot when we already reached the class door. the times we laugh at sham for her oh-so lame jokes she makes which weren't even supposed to be funny. the times sheila said my head was bigger than my body and i get all paranoid and all and then toi complains sheila shouldn't have said that.. the times i imitate becky's 'EH HELLO!' and hear beryl and ninny going "eh i think i just heard becky." and the times nat's being all motherly and all, the times she made food during home econs and we end up eating em cos they were like damn nice. and qi being oh-so sweet and quiet i can't help but not comment on anything just that i miss her being the sweet her. and never forgetting every recess where we'd always gather at our usual spot outside the canteen (which is sadly now restrcited as an eating place because of that fugly irritating brocolli-haired woman security guard:( ).. and many more.

i miss going tuition with jaslyn at bishan and how we usually don't even talk in school and talk like we've known each other since forever when we're out of school. i miss the endless fast-paced shopping sprees where we'd spend hours deciding and trying on clothes in zara and topshop and scanning thru far east to hunt for clothes, and the times we spent our money on alot alot alot of food instead of material stuffs cos we were just too hungry. and the times we laughed at muthu, the times we bitched and ranted cos of our problems..

i don't really fancy my class in cjc. i don't think i'd ever get people like my old friends out of my new ones. they don't give me the same warm feeling i get when i'm around my old friends. my classmates might be nice to laugh with, fun to talk to with, but there's like cliques here and there in my class, it's hard and probably rude to barge in to get to know them well. the only ppl who're more approachable are like, christine and fernie, tasha and sara. the crescent girls plus rachell are nice, and charmaine qibin lester and gang are nice too, but they're still like a clique after all. the people are all great people individually, but 1T34 as a class just hasn't got that thing going on. i hope i'll grow to like my class as a whole someday.

mind me, i think i'm having these kinda moodswings where i've tendencies to complain about how stupid my life is. cos my monthly just came. owell.
'So many people around, but i still feel alone.' by beverley in her blog. my sentiments exactly.

i feel very ... empty.

Hello, you again. How could you go and be so cold?
She said 'Goodbye sad man', cause all this pain is getting old
Hello lonely. Now that you're gone I can move on
Goodbye sweet thing, just know that I've been here all along
So why're you sad? Don't you know that
It's you who holds my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this
just walk away from this again? Again.. Again..
All those days you waste on me, I just can't let you go..

all my regrets are nothing new
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________when you come back down.
Saturday, March 18, 2006 ; 8:08 PM

All the stars are out tonight
It feels as though I might make some sense out of this madness

i just downloaded Robots and A Walk To Remember into my poddy baby! omgg a walk to remember's like a classic tear jerker. :( i rewatched it last night and it touched me so much, as usual. esp the part when Landon started crying when Jamie told him she had leukemia. booohoooo. :'( it was like so nice i watched the whole movie and lost track of time. when it ended it was like 4am already! a walk to remember rocks mannn. <33333

---

Staring right back in the face, a memory can't be erased.
I know, because I tried.
Start to feel the emptiness and everything I'm gonna miss.
I know that I can't hide.

All this time is passing by, I think it's time to just move on

When you come back down, if you land on your feet,
I hope you find a way to make it back to me.
When you come around, I'll be there for you.
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through.

Start to breathe and fake a smile, it's all the same after a while.
I know that you are tired.
Carrying the ones you lost, a picture frame with all the thoughts
I know you hold inside.
I hope that you can find your way back to the place where you belong

You're coming back down, you said you feel lost, can I help you find it?
When you come around from time to time, we all are blinded
You're coming back down, you don't have to tell me what you're feeling,
I know what you're going through, I won't be the one who lets go of you.

I think it's time to just move on.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________new specs; chemistry; badminton;
Thursday, March 16, 2006 ; 1:40 PM

hmmm. bored. i'll be rotting at home till evening when i make my new specs. yes as usual, i never fail to lose my specs in a year. mom called my optician to ask when was the last time i got a new pair of specs, and he said it was about a year ago. and the previous one before that was also made a year before i lost it. haha. =/ owell..

few days back billy the great offered to help me in chem and we had tuition and breakfast over at parkway parade macs, then got his contacts, before he went off for bowling trng and i went off for the badminton trials. so nice of him to teach me chem despite him being really sleepy when he could've gone home to catch up with his beauty sleep! and speaking of badminton, i'm like so far the only j1 in the team cos they couldn't find anyone to recruit in.. yikes!..

chem tuition again at billy's house the day after. i really learnt something la! haha. now i know my mole concepts better and how to find the oxidation state of a substance. :D he actually could tolerate my stupidity in chem and those endless nonsensical questions which i kept asking. hahaha. these are the times i ask myself how i even managed to get an A2 for phy/chem when all i know about chem is nuts. okay, maybe a little more than nuts. i love his condo, it's big and it looks like a holiday resort or chalet! his dog Tails is freaking cute, but she hates me la. :( one moment can be real quiet and nice, next moment she starts barking at me like i'm some monster! booo. in the afternoon we cabbed down to toa payoh cos he wanted to get a new earpiece for his phone. we walked around tp central finding em, and the weather was super hot and humid la. zz. then we ate katong laksa for lunch. yes how dumb but it was my first time eating katong laksa. nice! after that he met his parents while i went over to ps to meet toi and her bf, and kenghee came soon after.

had badm training in school yesterday and the girls there were nice, plus louis from j3. anyway not very nice la i was such a lousy player since i was the only j1 and owell i kinda screwed up my games that day. but thank goodness HAOWEN WILL BE JOINING ME IN BADMINTON so at least now i've got a j1 friend there. YAY YAY YAY! after training, met jaslyn at j8! hohoo. had lunch at Mos burger, and some irritating bunch of guys were trying to be funny w me when jaslyn was ordering her meal. long story, lazy to type but owell. it was nothing much. after lunch we walked around, bought nothing as usual but it was surprisingly quite fun! kept crapping all the way and doing our catching ups.

yeah, and yesterday was the last day i'd be wearing the ij uniform. quite sad actually. i don't wanna grow out of wearing it. :( though it's been 10 years. alright shall rot over here while i wait for mom to return home to fetch me to thompson.

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind
Me and you what's going on?
All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong

someday we'll know.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________skeptical
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 ; 10:29 PM

feeling cynical now. i guess i've learnt from the past not to put my hopes high cuz then, they might just be dashed the next moment. i still can't bring myself to think that this is all not a dream. but yup, sadly all good things come to an end, guess i gotta accept that fact.
i'm all prepared for the worst.

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Know that you are walking right through my door

All of my life, where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes, i know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

replies.
keek: thanks :)
merelda: hahaha, but bio is fun la. we're at an advantage cus we took pure. but owell! can't be bothered to memorise those terms and everything. =/ i miss you 4 too! :(
beverley: haha her english not very good right! i can actually foresee that killing part. hahaha.
guy from cjc: hello. :) why don't you just leave your name! shit now i don't know what i wanna take again. haha. i'll think it over. thanks alot for your advice btw! means alot to me.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________keng hee's bday celebration
Sunday, March 12, 2006 ; 1:13 PM

the day before yesterday when mag and i was on bus 156 home from town, i was about to get off my stop opposite serangoon stadium when we remembered sjc was having sports meet there then. so we decided to drop by to talk to mr tan. cool la i saw merelda and bestfriend and shyan and darylyn and angela! how i miss secondary school days. and yes i saw susie lee, and as expected, she never fails to darken my days. how sad. i don't think i'll ever grow out of not disliking her. we talked to mr tan and all. when we left he offered to give us a ride to somewhere near our houses. so nice!

yesterday we celebrated keng hee's birthdayy at marina square! and caught Dorm. it was supposed to be scary! but know what, it turned out to be really touching! had a nice story and nice ending, and the boy ghost is cute lah. lol. after movie, we had dinner at cafe cartel. had to queue for almost 45 mins before we could get seats. after that me and sham went off to collect the cake and stuff. kw, toi and i shared to buy him an astro boy tee. hahaha. owells.

after that we walked over to esplanade. didn't do much there.. just took some group pictures.. then we all went our separate ways. kw and toi went home, keng hee went to meet his sister at M.O.S while me, sham, glenn and lowyon took a bus over to acsbarker to sort of explore at night? haha. the guard was sitting outside the gate and didn't even question our arrival, guess he thought we were those staying in the hostel. lowyon and glenn's friends led us to some really dark corner and through the clock tower which was super super creepy and eerie like some haunted lighthouse. we went to some roof and practically just slacked and rot there. dunno go there for what actually. lol. they wanted to go to this really so-called 'haunted' place in the school, but after awhile i had to cab home cos i had curfew! i still had dinner at home waiting for me haha. left at 10.50pm and the journey home was amazingly fast! reached home at 11.05pm. lol. from newton to kovan. hmm!

replies.
doesn't matter: hello doesn't matter. okay so weird calling you that. haha. why don't you just leave your name! anyway thanks for your advice! it means alot to me. i suck at stiochiometry please. cos my foundation's damn weak. but yeah i guess i'll stick with chem. thanks! ;D
beverley: YES, LUCY LEE! OMGGG. she's quite hard to talk to, especially in my broken chinese. now we can't argue with her already haha.. shiat. yes lah nicholas that stupid guy pangseh our class for you guys haha.
merelda: so cool! haha bio is hard in alevels lah i don't wanna take. anw how much did you get for bio in Os? haha happy seeing you that day! i miss 4faith! :(
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________cjc
Thursday, March 09, 2006 ; 9:16 PM

okay nothing much to update about.. cjc's cool, happy seeing so many familiar faces there. i like cj mass dance, so fun haha. okay fun if you dance with a right partner who has the enthusiasm, not like toi's partner today who was no different from a stone. haha! i stare at you, you stare at me. people do bangra, i'll just stare at you, while you stare at me. wadahell la. couldn't stop laughing. anyways.. ig01 wasn't very much bonded and it was only on the last day of ig01's existence (on tuesday) that i got to know some of them better. SIAN. oh oh, and damn cool luh, our ig had so many chij girls and there was at least one from each chij school. nonetheless it was pretty okay and i got to know some nice people like terri and yolanda and vivian! not forgetting jason and gang rui. the rest are nice too but never really talked much to them. sighh owelll..

on the third day we broke into our permanent classes. tasha sara toi xiangli and i are in the same class! it was damn shocking cus we all took different combinations.. anyways. we formed part of 1T34, and quite sad i must say, that the class hasn't bonded. all the girls there are fantastic while the guys, well are pretty much alright, can't say much cus i only talked to 2 of them so far.. my home tutor is some chinese teacher, who reminds me exactly of my seconday sch chinese teacher, ling lao shi! BORING OKAY. :(

cjc orientation's finale todayy. went to police academy for games and all the whole afternoon. i'm burnt la. quite pink on the face. then cheer competition in our respective houses. orientation ended at like 8pm.. i'm quite tired now. that's about all.

lectures start tomorrow. i'm still considering whether or not to change my combi.. :( am taking H2 Maths Econs Chem, and H1 geog. i'm considering changing from H2 Chem to H2 Physics! but i don't know if i should! rahh. anyway i plan to do business after Alevels in uni so i don't care which science subject is more important. i bother more of which science is easier to score for in Alevels. yikes.. suggestions anyone?!..

replies.
jaslyn: hahaha very funny ah you. updated!
beverley: hello you bimbo yes this reply is so late. orientation was quite fun. ;D but better if we knew the people in our ig well! see you in school!
sheila: can you not! haha yay it's less pain now.
natt: haha no thanks! ;)
ryl: RYLRYLRYLRYLRYLLL! why never date me out!
jieping: hello! haha i didn't know you had a blog! add me on msn! :) linked you!
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________friendlies with sji
Friday, March 31, 2006 ; 11:15 PM

Why do you see, why do you see
Why do you see right through me..

school as usual. had two hours of break today. haha. me christine fernie charmaine sara and tasha were having a great time in the canteen laughing and bitching (not really bitching, just exchanging opinions haha), and telling each other who looks like what animal. how lame but nevermind.

rushed down to tampines sports hall after school with a few teammates, and had friendly match with sji boys. i could say, sji boys thrashed cjc girls. petrina and i played 2 doubles matches against 2 different sji pairs. almost won one with 11-15 okay. the rest of the points are too lousy to mention. haha. yeah, you get the picture. cjc badm boys rock la. they play damn well! i love seeing their matches. haha. goodness. after matches the whole team tgt with mr liu and the coach went for dinner at tampines mall. it was supposed to be at pasta mania but went to a-jisen-ramen (spell?) cus pasta mania were packed with people. i'd have prefered marina south! yeah anyway that's about it.

just got home awhile ago from the dinner.. i'm tired. novena church tmr with jaslyn i think. been ages since i went there..

roar. post mentrual syndrome i suppose. :( yes... blame it on hormones. haha.. i hate this emptiness inside of me. :( why is it so hard to speak up to that someone..? it just seems almost impossible. sigh. if anyone realises, the bold phrases in all my entries aren't just song lyrics i pick out from random songs, but they relate closely to my feelings. i hate this feeling. i hate it when i feel i ain't able to say or do what i want. i just don't know how to.

someday we'll know if love can move a mountain
someday we'll know why the sky is blue
someday we'll know why i wasn't meant for you..


when things don't turn out the way i want them to, i shouldn't be discouraged. i believe God has bigger plans in store for me (:
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________all of my life, where have you been? i wonder if i'd ever see you again.
Thursday, March 30, 2006 ; 12:51 PM

And it may take some time to patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I run away and hide
And I may find in time that you were always right
You were always right.

i'm bored at home now. didn't go to school today. hmmm. yesterday's training was rather good cos the seniors said they could see the girls really training for the first time. physical training together with the boys. had some sort of shuttle run but a much tougher one. though we did lesser sets it was still tiring like, whoa laa. worse of all, everyone was like damn fast i was like the last or second last. hahaha gosh. so stressful. training ended at almost 7.30pm. come to think of it, training lasted 5 hours! surprisingly today i'm not having any cramps from yesterday! hoho jason liu said the girls team is staying if we continue to train this wayy.. come to think of it i don't know how it'd be like next year when the 5 J2s leave.. with only 3 J1s; petrina haowen and me..

anyway.. i heard i got in for the vball trials. now badminton or volleyball..?? i don't know.. :( i like both! i'm not one of the better players in badminton, yet i like the people there; i don't know where i stand in vball and i haven't got to know anyone there yet, yet i don't mind trying something new. maybe i'll stay in both.. but then i doubt i'll be able to cope! plus studies! rah. friday whole badminton team dinner outing @ marina south after boys training and team physical training organised by the coach! cool huh.

boredd.. haven't met up with the clique for some time.. nic was so sweet she msged between her lessons yesterday telling me how she missed me! :( i miss sjc. the looney retardo times. i'll never get that kind of thing in lessons now..

okok i have a pile of homework to do now.. Maths and Gp essay! yucks.. econs test on monday. haha econs is quite cool but i've no idea how to write an econs essay. prepared to flunk it. till then.

you always find a way
to keep me right here waiting.

replies.
fernie: hello haha! yeah i got a missed call from christine i don't know why i couldn't feel the vibration in my phone.. you guys could've ran after us or something! :P see you tomorrow!
freddie: haha okok ask me out too! could go out tgt with lowyon and all. heh.
cheryl: yeah! it's like another chij.. bombarded with ij girls and sji.. yeah but it's less strict compared to sjc haha.
christine: hey! no problem mann! know what? i can't access your haloscan in my comp though i tried many times. haa. the thing won't pop-up. hmph.
natt: hmmmmm. the second assumption is correct but first isn't. hahha kidding! lovee!
charmaine: hello! through lester right.. haha yeah i hope so. but so far our class is alright. great that we're in same class. see you in school!
beverley: hey! another competition? go win something back for cjc yeah! cj dance is awesome (: badminton's not closing down yeetttt. :P
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________P.E. torture.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 ; 7:47 PM

day was pretty much the same as other days. started off a bad morning waking up earlier than usual for my morning runs (cus i usually arrive late). had to rush my mom to fetch me to the bus stop outside my house and kind of pissed her off. haha ok la what's new it's like almost everyday the same thing happens. then the freaking bus 153 refused to come for almost half an hour! like, i could've had more sleep if i had known the time it usually arrives. :( shall try to take bus 156 soon and compare the travelling time.. reached school at 7, thankfully just 10 mins late. (: ran a couple of rounds with the team and then the j2s went to talk to jason liu. anyways i heard the girls team isn't gonna be taken out just as yet..

after run we headed for assembly and brother paul caught me from the back! "folded sleeves, short skirt. what is this? what's your name and class? see me after assembly." ): but things were alright la just have to find him tomorrow to unpolish my nails. i'm surprised he could see them polished cus it was just those transparent ones that make the nails shine. eck. but thankfully he didn't pick on my hair. don't know why but it's getting even browner. was caught for that at the last spot check. but somehow no one called us back to check on our hairs haha so who cares.

P.E. nightmare on the third period. like i wasn't hyped up enough in the morning. ran 6 rounds under 13 mins and did other crap like push ups and crunches. i swear we were like in some boot camp! jason liu made us reply corny answers to him, like when he went "how many more?" we had to go "many many more!", when he went "how are you feeling?" we had to go "beautiful!" goodness. if we were pinnochio there wouldn't be room for our nose to grow any longer. i hate men push ups! especially doing it on the hard and hot concrete ground. grrrrr.

had a bath after that. thank goodness! felt so much better and refreshed. (: then toi and i skipped math lecture cus we were still eating when lecture started. yeah damn bad but okay just this once! after school 1T34 went down to far east again. lunch at burger king then met up with lowyon, christine and their friends. haha christine and her guyfriend joel damn funny la. cute couple. went down to monstercue at meridien for pool. didn't play, just watched them play. the guys in my class were there too. owell. then went back after that. anywayy.. i like the girls in my class (:

what makes you different
makes you beautiful to me
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________the badminton girls team
Monday, March 27, 2006 ; 8:49 PM

happy birthday becky whacky! okay she won't read this though. owell. we got her an ipod. i didn't get to celebrate with them! cus of training..! :( booooooo. WE ALL MUST GO OUT SOON! :(

owell anyway the cj badminton girls team's kind of facing a crisis. shan't go in depth but yeah, it was an emotional time for some of em for the past 2 badminton sessions.. even one particular teacher chose to resign from being the teacher-in-charge for the cca cos of some stuffs. and he was probably the only one who had faith and believed in the girls team. now that only jason liew is left, he kind of despises the girls team. and just told us that there won't be a cj girls school team anymore, cos he thinks the j2s hasn't shown commitment and aren't good enough a standard to compete with other jcs j2 standard.. owell. i've so much to complain about but i don't think i'll blog bout it here.

anyway yeah. first 1T34 outing, out for a quick lunch at far east before i met haowen and headed back to school together with rose and charmaine. auditorium was in use in the afternoon so training was at the gym instead. had to use weights to train our arms, which were damn heavy.. yuck i don't want bulky big arms!

anyway i made a friend in the toilet. hahha. we were both drying our wet hair and she was asking me if the use-handdryer-to-dry-wet-hair method works. funny. okay not really a friend. but we had a conversation and she say bye to me. though i don't know her name nor remember her face. teehee weird. and i made another friend in badminton called petrina, another j1 badminton player! nice person. yep. there's only 3 girl j1s in badm. owell. closing down or not, we still don't know.

Cause everything inside me looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take
When I'm on fire, when you're near me
I'm on fire when you speak
And I'm on fire burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

replies.
nic ninny sheila: hello i love you all. we'll always stay a clique <3333 i miss you guys anyhow.
beverley: HELLO AND CHEER UP DON'T BE SO SAD :( stop asking me to join dance cos you'll hear the same reply. hehe see you in school :)))))
noven: yo sleepy hamster.

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real well I don't want to know.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________reminiscing on the old times
Saturday, March 25, 2006 ; 11:41 AM

if only we could relive our secondary school days.

i miss going out with bestfriend and shopping and looking out for eyecandies, and really laughing over the stupidest things. i remember in sec 1 or sec 2 when she mistook a crippled man on crutches behind some bushes to be someone skating and started slapping herself and laughing her high-pitched laughter. and last year's new year countdown where we went with my parents to see the fireworks at esplanade, going all hysterical when we saw the fireworks on display, then held bestfriend stayovers and just reflected on our lives so far. and those phone talks where we confided in each other about our love lives etc.

i miss the times the clique held outings esp to celebrate birthdays at sentosa, and i'll never forget the time we booked a hotel room after grad night last year and how sheila and beryl were feeling alittle high cos of i-don't-know-what and started playing with the helium-filled balloons hanging over the bed on the ceilings and sheila kept giggling and going "look! look! bouncing nipples!". it was so lame me and ninny couldn't help but laugh seeing them. and other times in school when we just hid in the toilets and even in cubicles to skip assembly and somehow always go scot-free. and other times nic toi and i irritated the class teachers esp mrs thiru and mr tan and fat lard susie lee and when we always enter class the latest but leave the earliest, and all the visits to the toilet. the times nic mag and i danced around like lunatics in the toilet while toi looked at us in complete disgust (haha). the times nic and i took bus 80 from sengkang all the way to harbourfront cus we were too lazy to go home (wadahell) haha. the times toi and i went late for holiday lessons and end up hesitating whether to even go to class anot when we already reached the class door. the times we laugh at sham for her oh-so lame jokes she makes which weren't even supposed to be funny. the times sheila said my head was bigger than my body and i get all paranoid and all and then toi complains sheila shouldn't have said that.. the times i imitate becky's 'EH HELLO!' and hear beryl and ninny going "eh i think i just heard becky." and the times nat's being all motherly and all, the times she made food during home econs and we end up eating em cos they were like damn nice. and qi being oh-so sweet and quiet i can't help but not comment on anything just that i miss her being the sweet her. and never forgetting every recess where we'd always gather at our usual spot outside the canteen (which is sadly now restrcited as an eating place because of that fugly irritating brocolli-haired woman security guard:( ).. and many more.

i miss going tuition with jaslyn at bishan and how we usually don't even talk in school and talk like we've known each other since forever when we're out of school. i miss the endless fast-paced shopping sprees where we'd spend hours deciding and trying on clothes in zara and topshop and scanning thru far east to hunt for clothes, and the times we spent our money on alot alot alot of food instead of material stuffs cos we were just too hungry. and the times we laughed at muthu, the times we bitched and ranted cos of our problems..

i don't really fancy my class in cjc. i don't think i'd ever get people like my old friends out of my new ones. they don't give me the same warm feeling i get when i'm around my old friends. my classmates might be nice to laugh with, fun to talk to with, but there's like cliques here and there in my class, it's hard and probably rude to barge in to get to know them well. the only ppl who're more approachable are like, christine and fernie, tasha and sara. the crescent girls plus rachell are nice, and charmaine qibin lester and gang are nice too, but they're still like a clique after all. the people are all great people individually, but 1T34 as a class just hasn't got that thing going on. i hope i'll grow to like my class as a whole someday.

mind me, i think i'm having these kinda moodswings where i've tendencies to complain about how stupid my life is. cos my monthly just came. owell.
'So many people around, but i still feel alone.' by beverley in her blog. my sentiments exactly.

i feel very ... empty.

Hello, you again. How could you go and be so cold?
She said 'Goodbye sad man', cause all this pain is getting old
Hello lonely. Now that you're gone I can move on
Goodbye sweet thing, just know that I've been here all along
So why're you sad? Don't you know that
It's you who holds my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this
just walk away from this again? Again.. Again..
All those days you waste on me, I just can't let you go..

all my regrets are nothing new
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________when you come back down.
Saturday, March 18, 2006 ; 8:08 PM

All the stars are out tonight
It feels as though I might make some sense out of this madness

i just downloaded Robots and A Walk To Remember into my poddy baby! omgg a walk to remember's like a classic tear jerker. :( i rewatched it last night and it touched me so much, as usual. esp the part when Landon started crying when Jamie told him she had leukemia. booohoooo. :'( it was like so nice i watched the whole movie and lost track of time. when it ended it was like 4am already! a walk to remember rocks mannn. <33333

---

Staring right back in the face, a memory can't be erased.
I know, because I tried.
Start to feel the emptiness and everything I'm gonna miss.
I know that I can't hide.

All this time is passing by, I think it's time to just move on

When you come back down, if you land on your feet,
I hope you find a way to make it back to me.
When you come around, I'll be there for you.
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through.

Start to breathe and fake a smile, it's all the same after a while.
I know that you are tired.
Carrying the ones you lost, a picture frame with all the thoughts
I know you hold inside.
I hope that you can find your way back to the place where you belong

You're coming back down, you said you feel lost, can I help you find it?
When you come around from time to time, we all are blinded
You're coming back down, you don't have to tell me what you're feeling,
I know what you're going through, I won't be the one who lets go of you.

I think it's time to just move on.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________new specs; chemistry; badminton;
Thursday, March 16, 2006 ; 1:40 PM

hmmm. bored. i'll be rotting at home till evening when i make my new specs. yes as usual, i never fail to lose my specs in a year. mom called my optician to ask when was the last time i got a new pair of specs, and he said it was about a year ago. and the previous one before that was also made a year before i lost it. haha. =/ owell..

few days back billy the great offered to help me in chem and we had tuition and breakfast over at parkway parade macs, then got his contacts, before he went off for bowling trng and i went off for the badminton trials. so nice of him to teach me chem despite him being really sleepy when he could've gone home to catch up with his beauty sleep! and speaking of badminton, i'm like so far the only j1 in the team cos they couldn't find anyone to recruit in.. yikes!..

chem tuition again at billy's house the day after. i really learnt something la! haha. now i know my mole concepts better and how to find the oxidation state of a substance. :D he actually could tolerate my stupidity in chem and those endless nonsensical questions which i kept asking. hahaha. these are the times i ask myself how i even managed to get an A2 for phy/chem when all i know about chem is nuts. okay, maybe a little more than nuts. i love his condo, it's big and it looks like a holiday resort or chalet! his dog Tails is freaking cute, but she hates me la. :( one moment can be real quiet and nice, next moment she starts barking at me like i'm some monster! booo. in the afternoon we cabbed down to toa payoh cos he wanted to get a new earpiece for his phone. we walked around tp central finding em, and the weather was super hot and humid la. zz. then we ate katong laksa for lunch. yes how dumb but it was my first time eating katong laksa. nice! after that he met his parents while i went over to ps to meet toi and her bf, and kenghee came soon after.

had badm training in school yesterday and the girls there were nice, plus louis from j3. anyway not very nice la i was such a lousy player since i was the only j1 and owell i kinda screwed up my games that day. but thank goodness HAOWEN WILL BE JOINING ME IN BADMINTON so at least now i've got a j1 friend there. YAY YAY YAY! after training, met jaslyn at j8! hohoo. had lunch at Mos burger, and some irritating bunch of guys were trying to be funny w me when jaslyn was ordering her meal. long story, lazy to type but owell. it was nothing much. after lunch we walked around, bought nothing as usual but it was surprisingly quite fun! kept crapping all the way and doing our catching ups.

yeah, and yesterday was the last day i'd be wearing the ij uniform. quite sad actually. i don't wanna grow out of wearing it. :( though it's been 10 years. alright shall rot over here while i wait for mom to return home to fetch me to thompson.

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind
Me and you what's going on?
All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong

someday we'll know.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________skeptical
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 ; 10:29 PM

feeling cynical now. i guess i've learnt from the past not to put my hopes high cuz then, they might just be dashed the next moment. i still can't bring myself to think that this is all not a dream. but yup, sadly all good things come to an end, guess i gotta accept that fact.
i'm all prepared for the worst.

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Know that you are walking right through my door

All of my life, where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes, i know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

replies.
keek: thanks :)
merelda: hahaha, but bio is fun la. we're at an advantage cus we took pure. but owell! can't be bothered to memorise those terms and everything. =/ i miss you 4 too! :(
beverley: haha her english not very good right! i can actually foresee that killing part. hahaha.
guy from cjc: hello. :) why don't you just leave your name! shit now i don't know what i wanna take again. haha. i'll think it over. thanks alot for your advice btw! means alot to me.
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________keng hee's bday celebration
Sunday, March 12, 2006 ; 1:13 PM

the day before yesterday when mag and i was on bus 156 home from town, i was about to get off my stop opposite serangoon stadium when we remembered sjc was having sports meet there then. so we decided to drop by to talk to mr tan. cool la i saw merelda and bestfriend and shyan and darylyn and angela! how i miss secondary school days. and yes i saw susie lee, and as expected, she never fails to darken my days. how sad. i don't think i'll ever grow out of not disliking her. we talked to mr tan and all. when we left he offered to give us a ride to somewhere near our houses. so nice!

yesterday we celebrated keng hee's birthdayy at marina square! and caught Dorm. it was supposed to be scary! but know what, it turned out to be really touching! had a nice story and nice ending, and the boy ghost is cute lah. lol. after movie, we had dinner at cafe cartel. had to queue for almost 45 mins before we could get seats. after that me and sham went off to collect the cake and stuff. kw, toi and i shared to buy him an astro boy tee. hahaha. owells.

after that we walked over to esplanade. didn't do much there.. just took some group pictures.. then we all went our separate ways. kw and toi went home, keng hee went to meet his sister at M.O.S while me, sham, glenn and lowyon took a bus over to acsbarker to sort of explore at night? haha. the guard was sitting outside the gate and didn't even question our arrival, guess he thought we were those staying in the hostel. lowyon and glenn's friends led us to some really dark corner and through the clock tower which was super super creepy and eerie like some haunted lighthouse. we went to some roof and practically just slacked and rot there. dunno go there for what actually. lol. they wanted to go to this really so-called 'haunted' place in the school, but after awhile i had to cab home cos i had curfew! i still had dinner at home waiting for me haha. left at 10.50pm and the journey home was amazingly fast! reached home at 11.05pm. lol. from newton to kovan. hmm!

replies.
doesn't matter: hello doesn't matter. okay so weird calling you that. haha. why don't you just leave your name! anyway thanks for your advice! it means alot to me. i suck at stiochiometry please. cos my foundation's damn weak. but yeah i guess i'll stick with chem. thanks! ;D
beverley: YES, LUCY LEE! OMGGG. she's quite hard to talk to, especially in my broken chinese. now we can't argue with her already haha.. shiat. yes lah nicholas that stupid guy pangseh our class for you guys haha.
merelda: so cool! haha bio is hard in alevels lah i don't wanna take. anw how much did you get for bio in Os? haha happy seeing you that day! i miss 4faith! :(
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

_____________________cjc
Thursday, March 09, 2006 ; 9:16 PM

okay nothing much to update about.. cjc's cool, happy seeing so many familiar faces there. i like cj mass dance, so fun haha. okay fun if you dance with a right partner who has the enthusiasm, not like toi's partner today who was no different from a stone. haha! i stare at you, you stare at me. people do bangra, i'll just stare at you, while you stare at me. wadahell la. couldn't stop laughing. anyways.. ig01 wasn't very much bonded and it was only on the last day of ig01's existence (on tuesday) that i got to know some of them better. SIAN. oh oh, and damn cool luh, our ig had so many chij girls and there was at least one from each chij school. nonetheless it was pretty okay and i got to know some nice people like terri and yolanda and vivian! not forgetting jason and gang rui. the rest are nice too but never really talked much to them. sighh owelll..

on the third day we broke into our permanent classes. tasha sara toi xiangli and i are in the same class! it was damn shocking cus we all took different combinations.. anyways. we formed part of 1T34, and quite sad i must say, that the class hasn't bonded. all the girls there are fantastic while the guys, well are pretty much alright, can't say much cus i only talked to 2 of them so far.. my home tutor is some chinese teacher, who reminds me exactly of my seconday sch chinese teacher, ling lao shi! BORING OKAY. :(

cjc orientation's finale todayy. went to police academy for games and all the whole afternoon. i'm burnt la. quite pink on the face. then cheer competition in our respective houses. orientation ended at like 8pm.. i'm quite tired now. that's about all.

lectures start tomorrow. i'm still considering whether or not to change my combi.. :( am taking H2 Maths Econs Chem, and H1 geog. i'm considering changing from H2 Chem to H2 Physics! but i don't know if i should! rahh. anyway i plan to do business after Alevels in uni so i don't care which science subject is more important. i bother more of which science is easier to score for in Alevels. yikes.. suggestions anyone?!..

replies.
jaslyn: hahaha very funny ah you. updated!
beverley: hello you bimbo yes this reply is so late. orientation was quite fun. ;D but better if we knew the people in our ig well! see you in school!
sheila: can you not! haha yay it's less pain now.
natt: haha no thanks! ;)
ryl: RYLRYLRYLRYLRYLLL! why never date me out!
jieping: hello! haha i didn't know you had a blog! add me on msn! :) linked you!
xoxo -

Y Y Y Y Y

who?

JOANNA ng (: (: (:
18 December 1989
CHIJ Saint Joseph's Convent /4 Faith
Catholic Junior College /1T34
bluelitez@hotmail.com
solastsummerr@gmail.com


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