_____________________missing sjc
Friday, January 27, 2006 ; 5:47 PM
Every time I think of you I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue ;
it's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find ;
living a life that I can't leave behind ;
there's no sense in telling me 'the wisdom of a fool won't set you free' ;
but that's the way that it goes, and it's what nobody knows ;
and every day my confusion grows ;
Every time I see you falling I get down on my knees and pray ;
I'm waiting for that final moment you'll say the words that I can't say ;
I feel fine and I feel good, I feel like I never should ;
whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say ;
why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday ;
I'm not sure what this could mean, I don't think you're what you seem ;
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else ;
then we'd never see just what we're meant to be ;
Every time I see you falling I get down on my knees and pray ;
I'm waiting for that final moment you'll say the words that I can't say ;gahh. i'm down with fever and a sore throat. it sucks. i feel funny and sleepy and cny's in 2 days time! booo.
anyway.. for the first time this year i feel down. i miss sjc.. life didn't seem that complicated and we were just little innocent freaks leading simple lives, doing stupid things together and going crazy together. it seems as though i've stepped out of my comfort zone ever since i entered MI; not like the people there are horrible or what, i just miss people in sjc who knew me well and whom i could really be myself infront of them. i had a dream this afternoon while taking a nap, and it was a horrible one. i won't elaborate on it, but i woke up feeling odd and thinking everything really happened.
whatever whatever. i think it's just one of those sucky days when you feel lousy and eeky and disgusting and retarded and everything else.
today, didn't go to school. had a disturbing fever since the night before. met the rest over at sjc to visit the teachers and collect my GPA. the school sucks now la. first this indian male security guard didn't allow us into school cos we are supposed to "have an appointment with a teacher" or show the prove of the gpa letter so that we could go in. dumb school. thankfully we saw mr tan and toi screamed for him to come over to 'save' us. and like it wasn't bad enough, we were only allowed to be in for at most 15 minutes. sick or what? to make it all worse, this indian female security guard chased us away from our group's recess usual spot. :( toi called her a caulliflower head, damn funny, but i totally agree. susie lee never fails to irritate us though. she saw us but just cut through our group to see two girls from the triple sci class behind us and i think she said, "i've no time to see you all, where's sew quee (i duno how to spell) and adeline?" fat biatch. so biased lah! still as mean even when we've graduated.
after that we went over to cp but i left quite soon after cos i had to rush to the doc cos it closed at 4pm; to get mc and medicine.
okay with that aside, i'm still feeling odd. sigh. :( i don't like feeling down and ill. it's like problems coming in tenfolds. i don't wish to think about it but i can't. why?.. :( i need some happy pills.
bizzare love triangle
xoxo -
Y Y Y Y Y