_____________________Tuesdays With Morrie. Lesson #8; Money
Tuesday, December 06, 2005 ; 3:41 PM
eighth lesson with Morrie.
We Talk About Money.
(those who haven't read Tuesdays With Morrie, basically Morrie is the author's late teacher. Morrie was an old man, and he was about to die. The author visited Morrie during his last days of his life and learnt many valuable lessons from Morrie.)
I held up the newspaper so that Morrie could see it:
I DON'T WANT MY TOMBSTONE TO READ "I NEVER OWNED A NETWORK."Morrie laughed, then shook his head. Would he really be crying over owning a network?
"It's all part of the same problem, Mitch," Morrie said. "we put our values in the wrong things. And it leads to very disillusioned lives. I think we should talk about that.
"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country," Morrie sighed. "Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good.
More money is good.
More property is good.
More commercialism is good.
More is good. More is good. We repeat it-- and have it repeated to us-- over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.
"Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'
"You know how I always interrupt that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have.
"There's a big confusion in the country over what we want versus what we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you
want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with
yourself. You don't
need the latest sports car, you don't
need the biggest house.
"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?"
What?
"Offering others what you have to give."
You sound like a Boy Scout.
"I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard. There's a senior centre that opened near there. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you're a young man or young woman and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.
"There are plenty of places to do this. You don't need to have a big talent. There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed.
"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it:
Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you a purpose and meaning."You notice," he added, grinning, "there's nothing in there about a salary."
There was a smokescreen. Morrie made that obvious.
"Mitch, if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."
He paused, then looked at me. "I'm dying, right?"
Yes.
"Why do you think it's so important for me to hear other people's problems? Don't I have enough pain and suffering of my own?
"Of course I do. But giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to healthy as I ever feel.
"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."
xoxo -
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